Patah S3ribu

Assalamualaikum,

I miss blogging!

Anyway, I was heartbroken since last week coz my boss already informed us our performance rating. Too bad, no luck for me this year. But I so know I totally deserved it, instead of my colleague which the reason they used coz he was the acting manager for 3 month before we got the real manager.

So, since senior engineers are not many of us, the quota for getting rating 2 is less and they had to cut down. To be fair kononnya, each section only 1 of the senior can get the rating 2 and I was rated 3H (high) lah konon but you know they actually made that up. There is nothing special about getting 3H anyway.

I was in tears when I heard the news. The next day I only worked half day. I know I should be bersyukur but you know what, I never worked as hard as I have worked last year. The reason coz I wanted to reward myself since I have already lost 2 babies. I had too many projects to handle and bos pulak if anything he will ask me to do and any urgent over the weekends I was the one he called. Coz org sibuk cuti sgt la kan sampai dont care what happen. When I was somewhere in Labuan busy doing my project, Boss wanted me to fly to KL for a day trip just to present for 15mins. Lots more, sorry lah I had to bring this up, sounds like mengungkit but if you really dont know how to defend your anak buah based on performance, you are totally screw up.

After all the sacrifices and effort, it was all meaningless. What's the point of installing the 1st technology in Asia if the management don't even recognized it at the end of the day. I was so overloaded, I handled 5 contracts last year and it made my life miserable coz I had to stay in the office long hours and sometimes work during the weekend.

So this year, I'm not gonna be Boss's right-hand man lagi. No more dude. Go find somebody else but not me. This year I will keep it low, not going to work hard either.I'm so sick and tired in this kind of game. I'm gonna enjoy my pregnancyhood this year and only left with 6.5 months to work! yey. Freedom.

Anyway, I have said what I wanted to say to my boss. I told him the truth about my feelings. I'm sorry that I hurt his feelings but I just have to say it. I know, its probably the pregnancy hormon, but you are messing with a wrong lady engineer here. *grrrr*

Yes, rezeki comes in any means, but this time, I just couldn't take it. I have suffered so much from work and its totaly not worth it at all.

I'm only praying hard that Allah will give me strength and patience to work for another 6.5 months. I'm planning to ask doctor to give me MC. haha.

pre new year post

Salam.

OK, I'm still gathering best photos for 2012. So much of ups and down, sad and tears but alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the greatest gift of the year, yet again, as a closing for 2012 despite all the bitter memories.
I couldn't be more thankful ever.

Work wise, well, what do you expect lah kan, of course it was depressing and stressful but there were few things that I felt satisfied with what I've done and alhamdulillah able to contribute to the company's business. Chewah, gila patriotic.. haha.. Although performance rating is not out yet, I dont really bother anymore, Allah  works in so many ways to grant us the rezeki, if its meant to be. No matter how high flyer you are, there will always be somebody try to bring you down and its happens soooooo many times that people yg x buat keje sgt, kipas2 bos, present je (itupun amik presentation pack org! cess!!) will shine. So life isn't fair, yes. But Allah is always fair. Keep that in mind.

Business pulak, not too bad, I was able to generate RM1.5K - 2K per month, with Sh4kl33 and 3lken. Alhamdulillah. 2013 nak target high sikit, I really need extra money coz dah pokai and berabis buat rumah cost almost RM400K kat Seremban. Huhu. Xpelah, at least my parents and siblings dpt merasa jugak. InsyaAllah, rezeki x ke mana kan. So, there'll be no more changing cars to our dream cars in the next 10 yrs. haha.

This Monday will be my 1st check up with my gynae, sgt nervous. Phobia pun ada. But I'm trying my very best to be positive, berserah byk2 pada Allah, only Him. He knows whats best for us. I hope this pregnancy journey will go smoothly, Amin. But seriously, pimples!!! Oh man, this is my first time dealing with this situation. OK, mmg kena pakai mask at least twice a week.

Ok ppl, gotta get some sleep now. Naufal needs my arms, baru terlelap. My manja boy!

Bye! Have a great weekend.

Wake me up when December ends

Salam,

uh, its the time of the year, where everybody busy doing write up for what they have done throughout the year 2012. So do I.

I've been thinking so hard and looks like nothing is special in 2012, except that I had miscarriage, twice. So, its definitely not a good year to be remembered. However, syukur alhamdulillah, I was promoted this year and had also passed my NACE certification!

Anyway, I'm still in Labuan, struggling to complete my project. Luckily Hubby is around, so he took care of cheeky Naufal. Naufal doesn't want to talk to mommy coz mommy left him in home KK and mommy go to hotel in Labuan. haha. Coz last month he was here in Labuan with daddy and he knew that I'll be staying in the hotel.

Oklah, hope boss will not ask me to amend my write up coz I just don't bother to.

Bye!

Mixed Update

Salam,

I miss blogging so much. I've been so busy lately and extremely tired almost everyday after coming back from work. Too many issues going on and a lot of things need to be completed before the year ends. In fact I am now going back and forth KK-Labuan to complete my project and its very tiring.

Anyways, glad that I'm now in Labuan, at least I can take a breath for a while. I did not spent most of the time at site, as there is nothing much to supervise, there's no place to sit either so I had to stand all day long. The site is located in a village, but very near to the bushes area and quite swampy. So, I only spent half day there and continue doing my job in the hotel. *shhh* dont tell my boss k. :p

My site area

Well, I had my birthday celebration last week, in the hotel in Labuan with Hubby & Naufal. I was upgraded to the Premier Suite room, hence, there is no better place other than the room itself to celebrate. Naufal was pretty excited when he saw daddy brought back a cake with the candles already lighted on, so he started singing Happy Birthday song to mommy. Hehe. TQ so much to my amazing superhubby, I love you everyday and twice on Sunday!!

Skema tul Hubby suh letak full name.. haha

Its always your birthday darling! 

Apart from that, Naufal's violin class has been going on quite well, which I personally think that at the end of the day I will also be able to play violin! haha. Coz during the class Naufal was quite reluctant to learn from the teacher, so she taught me hoping that I will teach Naufal at home. So can you imagine how busy mommy is now?? At least 3x a week after work I will teach Naufal to play violin, the rythm and so on.

Practicing violin @ home

 On top of that, the mengaji class also going on so well, alhamdulillah. Naufal now is quite comfortable and mesra with the Ustad already thus it makes it easier for Ustad to teach him alone, without having us around. So, to make sure he does not forget, everyday I will try to invite him to recite Iqra together, I didnt force him, he will come to me when he saw me tgh mengaji so he insisted me to teach him too. Alhamdulillah.

Naufal tgh mengaji while we were hiding behind the curtain.. hehe

On the other side, deep in my heart, I really missed getting pregnant. I can't deny this, especially when there's a lot of pregnant colleagues at work, with one of them having the same due date as mine as I mentioned in the previous post long ago. So, how could I not feel sad and heartbroken to see their happy faces (the pregnant glowing faces), but at the same time feeling happy for them and praying for their safe delivery.

Me, pregnant with Naufal 3 yrs back

I know, Allah is testing us now, but I'm trying my very best to be strong to go through this. People may say that I'm tough, but the fact is I'm not that tough anymore. *ok there goes my tears while writing this* Oklah, tabahlah wahai hati. What more can I say? My good friend posted this in fb and its very much related to me too.

"...dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya." Al-Baqara:216

Nuff said, its getting emotional. I better stop here. Seriously need a break or vacation to heal this. *always find reasons to go vacation laa kan.. hehe*

Happy faces when having them around..

Have a great day ahead people. Amin.

Passed!

Salam.

Yes, I am now officially a NACE coating inspector Level 1, alhamdulillah!

So, anybody hiring? Hourly rate, please. :p

Syukur again, Thank You Allah.




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Location:KK

Doa

Salam.

Alhamdulillah, lega sgt after the exam. What a big relieved! Oh, don't bother asking how I did in the exam, it was pretty tough, so, I had a mix feeling that I'll score at the borderline, which is either pass or fail.

Anyway, I've tried my very best and kata2 merupakan satu doa, so from now on I will start saying that I'll pass but not so flying colours. Hehe. InsyaAllah, saya yakin dgn kuasa doa & tawakal z& berserah 101% kepada Allah to decide, after all the efforts. Well, that's exclude the shopping time I did the night before the exam coz Isetan was having a sale for it's members for for only 3 days up to 70%! NO, I did not bought anything for me, it was all for Naufal & my anak2 buah.

Oklah, nak titun dah. Bye! Wassalam...



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Location:Seremban

Back to reality

Salam.



Check2, back to reality. I can't believe how 2 weeks has gone that fast and too bad, tomorrow am going back to work after all the nightmares. Hmm..

I'm still feeling weak and still got the cough and a bit of fever. So I don't know how am I going to handle tomorrow. Hopefully, people won't be asking too much question or I'll be emotional and might end up crying at my cubicle.

Ya Allah, please ease everything for me. Amin.

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