I miss blogging!
Anyway, I was heartbroken since last week coz my boss already informed us our performance rating. Too bad, no luck for me this year. But I so know I totally deserved it, instead of my colleague which the reason they used coz he was the acting manager for 3 month before we got the real manager.
So, since senior engineers are not many of us, the quota for getting rating 2 is less and they had to cut down. To be fair kononnya, each section only 1 of the senior can get the rating 2 and I was rated 3H (high) lah konon but you know they actually made that up. There is nothing special about getting 3H anyway.
I was in tears when I heard the news. The next day I only worked half day. I know I should be bersyukur but you know what, I never worked as hard as I have worked last year. The reason coz I wanted to reward myself since I have already lost 2 babies. I had too many projects to handle and bos pulak if anything he will ask me to do and any urgent over the weekends I was the one he called. Coz org sibuk cuti sgt la kan sampai dont care what happen. When I was somewhere in Labuan busy doing my project, Boss wanted me to fly to KL for a day trip just to present for 15mins. Lots more, sorry lah I had to bring this up, sounds like mengungkit but if you really dont know how to defend your anak buah based on performance, you are totally screw up.
After all the sacrifices and effort, it was all meaningless. What's the point of installing the 1st technology in Asia if the management don't even recognized it at the end of the day. I was so overloaded, I handled 5 contracts last year and it made my life miserable coz I had to stay in the office long hours and sometimes work during the weekend.
So this year, I'm not gonna be Boss's right-hand man lagi. No more dude. Go find somebody else but not me. This year I will keep it low, not going to work hard either.I'm so sick and tired in this kind of game. I'm gonna enjoy my pregnancyhood this year and only left with 6.5 months to work! yey. Freedom.
Anyway, I have said what I wanted to say to my boss. I told him the truth about my feelings. I'm sorry that I hurt his feelings but I just have to say it. I know, its probably the pregnancy hormon, but you are messing with a wrong lady engineer here. *grrrr*
Yes, rezeki comes in any means, but this time, I just couldn't take it. I have suffered so much from work and its totaly not worth it at all.
I'm only praying hard that Allah will give me strength and patience to work for another 6.5 months. I'm planning to ask doctor to give me MC. haha.