Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hope and Faith


Opss, I left my thumbdrive at office. Thinking of sharing some pics during futsal tournament last Sunday - dun worry, of course I wasn't playing. I was in fact the team manager and the committee.. huhu.. I'll share later lah ek. Can't promise, kat ofis tak leh nak upload and tomorrow I'll be travelling to KL.

So anyway, something big happened recently. Its about my career. In the past entries I did mentioned that I got the position which Ive been hunting since I first joined the company. Tp last time my former boss dont want to release me so I had to stay. So, Im still hoping and believed that someday I'll get the position anyhow. But the moment I was offered, I think its too late to turn back, Im so comfortable with my current position, my boss + my manager. Its quite complicated. To cut it short, I accepted the offer and last week, I had the courage to tell my manager that I dont want the new position. I wanted to stay instead. He was surprised, but happy. He said he will do his best to make things work out for me to stay. I know Im such a bad person, if I would not accept the offer in the first place, it wont be this complicated. Nonetheless, I'm trying my best to minimise the damage done. I talked to the new manager, say that I'm so sorry. He has no objection at all. But I dont think he's telling the truth and tak ikhlas. Tak kisahlah, yg penting, I've done my part. If dia nak cakap belakang ke biarlah. Allah knows best. Lagipun he was the one yg didnt want to release me 2 years back when he was my dept manager.

I know, it is such a dramatic decision. Unbelievable. But trust me, deep in my heart my interest, my dream still there in Instrument/Control. Tp I've been doing a lot of thinking, doa byk2 and mintak Allah bagi petunjuk which is best for me, my husband, our baby and untuk agamaku.

Its true of what people usually say, 'Its not what you WANT, its what you NEED'. Tp yg the best is - 'Bukan apa yg kita suka/minat tu baik untuk kita'. Maybe sekarang tak nampak lagi, tp insyaAllah, I prayed, doa and have faith that apa yg Allah takdirkan tu adalah yg terbaik. I even felt much much better after the discussion with my manager of the decision to stay in my current position. Even though I have to sacrifice my dream, my passion. No regret at all. Sekarang ni baru tahu erti pengorbanan seorang isteri and ibu.

So pray for me keh, that everything goes well. My manager is struggling to fight for me to stay, but selagi tak dpt surat, I'll keep praying and hoping for the best.

I love you so much hubby and our baby!

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